I don’t want to have to look for clues to find out whether or not we are going to be in a relationship…this isn’t freakin’ Blue’s Clues. I don’t have time for that anymore. Which is why setting intentions is so important.
When I first met Jonathon, he told me basically right off the bat that he was all in. That made everything so much easier, that is what I am looking for; that is part of what made us work so well together, because neither one of us had to sit around guessing what was going on.
Every guy before him and now, after him had/has never made their intentions clear. So obviously I think that I need to be the one who starts making my intentions clear in the beginning. (…and actually sticking to them, cause the one time I actually told someone my intentions it turned out they didn’t want the same thing…so I retracted mine to keep being able to talk to that guy.) I have to quit doing that in order to find what I am looking for.
That, mixed with the fact that I don’t like being the one who brings up big conversations. I’m not scared to have a big conversation at all, but I don’t want to be the one who starts it. Which is silly, because that is exactly how to get to what I want and how to get myself away from what I don’t need. I’m working on it.
I’m not saying you need to know if you want to marry a person after the first date, all I’m saying is, be clear in what you want. Do you want to keep seeing this guy/girl? If yes, let them know. Do you see a real future with this person? If so, tell them.
Don’t tell them you love them the first time you meet them in person, that’s just weird.
I am learning to leave people who only pop up in my life every now and again alone…if you want me, you make an effort and vice versa. If a guy/girl only pops up in your messages every few days or weeks, chances are they don’t actually want you. They just like that you are there when it is convenient for them.
I know because I had something like that with Jonathon. I never had to beg for a call or text from him…I never had to wonder if he actually cared about me. He called and texted me all the time…even while at work. He was never too ‘busy.’ He made time to show me that I mattered to him. Most of the time anything less than that is an excuse.
Anyway, I was watching a Matthew Hussey video a little bit ago about intentions and it made me think….
It’s better to end something in the beginning if it isn’t going the way you want than to just wait it out hoping it will turn into what you are looking for.
A lot of guys I have tried to date never seem to be ready for a relationship, they tell me things like “I don’t know what I want right now. ” Well, clearly it isn’t me then…It isn’t hard to decide what you want, most of those guys probably just say that, because it sounds nicer than them telling me “You aren’t what I want.”
You wouldn’t be at a party for hours trying to decide if you want to eat a strawberry; you either want it or you don’t. Simple.
Just decide. I’m so tired of stuff like this. Know what you want.
Set your intentions, it’ll save you a lot of time and heartache in the long run.
-laurenmikael
🙂
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