Setting Intentions is Important

I don’t want to have to look for clues to find out whether or not we are going to be in a relationship…this isn’t freakin’ Blue’s Clues. I don’t have time for that anymore. Which is why setting intentions is so important.

When I first met Jonathon, he told me basically right off the bat that he was all in. That made everything so much easier, that is what I am looking for; that is part of what made us work so well together, because neither one of us had to sit around guessing what was going on.

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Every guy before him and now, after him had/has never made their intentions clear. So obviously I think that I need to be the one who starts making my intentions clear in the beginning. (…and actually sticking to them, cause the one time I actually told someone my intentions it turned out they didn’t want the same thing…so I retracted mine to keep being able to talk to that guy.) I have to quit doing that in order to find what I am looking for.

That, mixed with the fact that I don’t like being the one who brings up big conversations. I’m not scared to have a big conversation at all, but I don’t want to be the one who starts it. Which is silly, because that is exactly how to get to what I want and how to get myself away from what I don’t need. I’m working on it.

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I’m not saying you need to know if you want to marry a person after the first date, all I’m saying is, be clear in what you want. Do you want to keep seeing this guy/girl? If yes, let them know. Do you see a real future with this person? If so, tell them.

Don’t tell them you love them the first time you meet them in person, that’s just weird.

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I am learning to leave people who only pop up in my life every now and again alone…if you want me, you make an effort and vice versa. If a guy/girl only pops up in your messages every few days or weeks, chances are they don’t actually want you. They just like that you are there when it is convenient for them.

I know because I had something like that with Jonathon. I never had to beg for a call or text from him…I never had to wonder if he actually cared about me. He called and texted me all the time…even while at work. He was never too ‘busy.’ He made time to show me that I mattered to him. Most of the time anything less than that is an excuse.

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Anyway, I was watching a Matthew Hussey video a little bit ago about intentions and it made me think….

It’s better to end something in the beginning if it isn’t going the way you want than to just wait it out hoping it will turn into what you are looking for.

A lot of guys I have tried to date never seem to be ready for a relationship, they tell me things like “I don’t know what I want right now. ” Well, clearly it isn’t me then…It isn’t hard to decide what you want, most of those guys probably just say that, because it sounds nicer than them telling me “You aren’t what I want.”

You wouldn’t be at a party for hours trying to decide if you want to eat a strawberry; you either want it or you don’t. Simple.

Just decide. I’m so tired of stuff like this. Know what you want.

Set your intentions, it’ll save you a lot of time and heartache in the long run.

-laurenmikael

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Okay, Universe, I won’t Write about Mindy Kaling

Today I had planned to do the Tuesday Starts with Tea post about the book Why Not Me? By Mindy Kaling. (You can get it here: https://amzn.to/303pNxg) I had it all written and planned out; even took real photos with my DSLR camera and everything.

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For some reason I guess life doesn’t want me to do that post today though. First I realized I still haven’t bought an SD card reader for my new MacBook Pro (my old MacBook Pro had one built in.) So, then I thought no big deal…I’ll just upload the photos by attaching the camera to the MacBook. Wrong. Somehow, even though I have two Canon DSLR cameras, I have no connection cords. Not sure how that happened. Both cameras claim to come with cords, yet I promise you I have never seen them in my life.

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No cords…no problem I’ll upload the post and add photos later. I turned on my computer. No internet connection. (That has never happened in my 2 years of living in this apartment. Weird that it chose today to quit.) Okay. I’ll just reset the router. Router is behind a bookself with a 40″ Television on top. I try to move it, but almost tip everything over. Fun stuff!

I’m currently writing this post now on my iPhone.

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I was so proud of myself for finally planning out a post and not winging it like I usually do. (Like now.) and for actually getting out my “real” camera.

The Mindy Kaling post will just have to wait. I’ll order cords and an SD card reader…and buy Photoshop again, since I don’t have access to my old copy anymore; and then upload the post. Maybe this is some sort of blessing in disguise…who knows? Maybe this is teaching me patience. I can’t watch TV either because I have a Smart TV…yay technology! Okay, Universe I get it, you win. I’ll just go finish reading My Squirrel Days by Ellie Kemper. If you want to read along with me, you can get it here: https://amzn.to/3kyXgY2

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go feed Dookie…apparently he is so hungry that he has decided to eat the carpet. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

-laurenmikael

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Facebook: Time to Say Goodbye

Yesterday I decided to quit using Facebook (except for blogging purposes.) I’m still keeping my Business pages. (Speaking of, have you “Liked” Life as Lauren Mikael on Facebook yet?) Having a personal Facebook is just too much of a distraction for me, I’ve wasted so much of my time over the years mindlessly scrolling through my newsfeed to see what friends are up to…time that I could have spent doing something productive, like writing or taking photos….or laundry. Ha!

On Wednesday I got my camera (Canon 5D Mark III) out of the camera bag for the first time in almost two years. It made me realize how much I really have missed photography.

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I’ve had a Facebook account since 2006. It’s 2020 now, it’s time for a change. I’m tired of seeing negative news stories pop up in my feed, and of seeing the same meme over and over again. I’m ready for hanging out with friends in real life, where they can tell me what they have been up to, not reading about it on a status update. Granted, with Covid still around hanging out with people has pretty much come to a halt. When that is under control though I’m gonna be wanting to spend way more time with friends than I have in the past. I’ve never been good at that…I’m accidentally a loner.

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I’m pretty much telling you all of this to hold myself accountable. If I tell you guys I’m off Facebook I won’t go back to it in a few days; I’ll stay off of it for good. Just like when I told you I wasn’t going to see Jonathon anymore. If I write about not doing something anymore it makes it much easier to stick to my decision.

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If I wasnโ€™t a writer I would quit social media and never look back, but since blogs are on the internet you pretty much have to share them to every social media account you have to get people to read what you wrote.

Earlier this year I took an online blogging course to help my blog get off the ground. The teachers of this course said something that stuck with me “You can own a sandwich shop and sell the best sandwiches around…but no one will come to it if you don’t tell them that you have a shop.” I may have paraphrased a little, I’m not sure…that was back in February a lot has gone on since then.

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Oh and since it is Friday, I want to sneak in a little Fangirl Friday before I end this post. Remember a few months ago when I told you about The Roads Below? Well they released a new song not too long ago called “Where That Tattoo Ends” it’s so good! You guys…I have basically been listen to it on repeat ever since it came out at the beginning of this month.

The Roads Below Where That Tattoo Ends Screenshot

Listen to it below:

You can find The Roads Below on all of your favorite music streaming services. If you don’t already have a favorite, click the banner below and you get 90 days of free listening.

Don’t forget to share this post if you liked it. That helps me out a lot.

I’ve added links to all of my social media profiles: let’s be friends!

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(Plenty of Fish) POF Conversations: Drayeds31

I’ve been quiet for a while, had to take some time away from the blog and social media to focus on self care; while I was away I started learning about meditation and shadow work, we’ll talk more about both of those soon. Today I have another Plenty of Fish post for you.

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Earlier today I was looking though pictures and screenshots on my phone and I came across another POF conversation that I havenโ€™t shared with you guys yet. I have been thinking for a few days now about how I really need to return to the blog, so it seems like perfect timing to do just that.

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This is a message in my Plenty of Fish mailbox from May 2019, you may already know…but in October of last year I gave up dating apps for good.

  • Plenty of Fish conversation, online dating

People say things just like this to me all the time, and like I said in ๐ŸšฉEach Day is a Special Gift ๐Ÿšฉ I know they mean well, but it’s always so weird and cringe-y when things like this happen.

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I am a person; I am just as much of a person as any other human being on this planet, I just have sit down all the time. I don’t know what is so impressive about sitting down…but apparently it is super impressive and inspiring, or at least that is what I (and all other people in wheelchairs) have been told all my/our life. It’s not really like we have any other choice but to deal with it anyway, so why do people say things like that? I mean no one ever asked me would you like to be in a wheelchair…?, like…what’s my other choice…fall over dead? Yeah, I’ll choose wheelchair, thanks.

That’s why I have never understood why dating has to be so hard when you are in a chair, I’m not any different than any other woman out there. I still want all of the same things any able bodied woman would want out of life and relationships, I promise you I am a damn good girlfriend, but most guys are too scared to even give me a chance to find that out, they just see a wheelchair and run away scared.

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That’s their loss though, cause I know I am worth it. I don’t lie, I would never even dream of cheating, I’m smart and funny, I love to cook and I am very good at it! I don’t need a man, I can do things on my own; but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want one. I want one so bad that sometimes my heart literally hurts when I think about it.

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I think that is a big part of it too, guys assume they’ll have to practically be my babysitter and do things for me all the time…but that isn’t true. As I said I do things on my own, now If you want to do whatever it is that needs done obviously that would be so much easier so go for it, but my stubbornness isn’t going to let me ask you to help.

I never met the guy that sent me this message, honestly I forgot all about him until today. I don’t think I ever talked to him after this message; he wasn’t physically attractive to me, plus like I said getting told things like that are cringe-y…so I let him get lost in the sea of Plenty of Fish messages.

I’m glad I quit Plenty of Fish, and online dating in general, it is so exhausting having to pitch yourself to people over and over again.

I know one day soon the right person will show up, I just have to have patience, like they say good things are worth waiting for.

Did you like this post? If so, don’t forget to share it…that would really help me out a lot.

Make sure to give a “Like” to Life As Lauren Mikael on Facebook .

-laurenmikael

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If you liked this post (or my blog in general) a tip of any size would be greatly appreciated! Update the quantity in your cart to adjust the amount of your tip. (Example: Changing the number in the box below to 5, will result in a $5 tip.) Thank You!

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